Modern Dating: A Pool I’d Rather Not Swim In

Modern dating feels less like a fairytale and more like a horror story. Between apps filled with pen pals and in-person events that feel like high school dances, it’s… a mess.

Dating Apps: The Good, the Bad, and the Weird

Let’s start with the apps. Swipe, match, message, repeat—it’s an endless loop of small talk that leads nowhere. Some people are just there to feed their egos, collecting matches without ever planning to meet. And then there are the weirdos (you know the type).

It’s exhausting for those of us who are serious about finding real connections. Sometimes it feels like the apps are a game where the only prize is a headache.

In-Person Dating Isn’t Much Better

So what about the old-fashioned way? Meeting people in person should be easier, right? Not really.

People don’t go out to meet new people anymore. When they do, they stick with their friends, staying in tight little circles that are hard to break into. Even at networking events—where the whole point is to mingle—I see people chatting with the same folks they already know.

And then, when you do manage to meet someone, it’s not always great. Once at a networking event, a guy struck up a conversation with me at the bar, even bought me a drink. I thought, Hey, maybe this could lead somewhere. But nope—he spent the entire conversation asking for advice about whether he should break up with his girlfriend. 🙃

To top it off, networking and mingling events are often full of amazing women and… a handful of men. It creates a weird dynamic where it feels like we’re all vying for the same attention, and honestly? It’s exhausting.

The Bright Side of Being Single

If there’s one thing modern dating has taught me, it’s how to be comfortable with myself—and I’m truly grateful for that. I haven’t been on a date in almost two years, and honestly? I’m good with that. Being single has given me the time and space to focus on building a life that feels full, meaningful, and unapologetically my own.

For me, being single isn’t a waiting room for a relationship. It’s a season of growth, discovery, and joy. I’ve leaned into my career, strengthened my friendships, and deepened my connections with my family. I’ve pursued hobbies that make me happy, traveled to places I’ve always wanted to see, and set goals that make me excited for the future.

Don’t get me wrong—if I meet someone and we connect, I’m open to seeing where it goes. But the difference is, I no longer feel like I need a relationship to feel whole. I’ve learned to appreciate my independence and the freedom that comes with it. There’s something empowering about waking up every day knowing that my happiness isn’t tied to someone else’s presence in my life.

And let’s be real, relationships are great, but so is taking yourself out on a solo brunch date, binge-watching your favorite shows without judgment, or deciding last minute to book a trip just because you feel like it. Being single is a reminder that life doesn’t have to be shared with someone to be full and beautiful—it just has to be lived with intention.

Modern Dating: Do It Afraid

That’s not to say I’ve given up entirely. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that so much of life is about doing it afraid. Whether it’s putting yourself out there on a dating app or walking up to a stranger at an event, you never know what might happen if you take a chance.

But until then, I’ll keep building a life I love and laughing about the chaos that is modern dating. Because at the end of the day, it’s about finding peace and fulfillment within yourself first.

What’s your take on modern dating? Are you in the trenches, or have you opted out altogether?