As an empath/ highly discerning person, I tend to feel the feelings, angst, and anxieties of the people around me and the world at large very deeply. And today, my heart, and that of many, is broken.

I came home from work in a great mood only to be met immediately with news on the tv that over a dozen (now up to 18) elementary aged children and a teacher had been gunned down senselessly in their school. In a place that’s supposed to be a safe space for many. Schools are supposed to be places where poor kids know they will get a hot meal and kids in abusive situations should encounter adults that care about and love them. Where kids learn and grow and play and dream of their futures.

Not a place that kids are scared to go. Not a place where teachers have to practice active shooter drills and kids have to be taught to barricade doors and throw things at intruders to try to protect themselves and their classmates. Not a place where (as people are suggesting) teachers (like my mom and grandma), who signed up to teach the future leaders of our nation, should have to think about being armed to protect themselves and their classrooms. They didn’t enlist in the military! They signed up to TEACH!

It’s sad enough that we can barely leave the house now – can’t go to the grocery store, or church, or the movies, or the mall, or ride in our own cars, or ride the subway, or jog down the street. That we can barely sit in our own living rooms or sleep in our own beds – without fear of not making it to see another day.

But the fact that the most innocent of lives can’t even go to school without fear is reprehensible.

When does it stop?! What is the solution? Is it gun control? Healthcare reform? Better mental health services? More armed security in public places? A combination of all the above?

I don’t know. But my heart hurts today. Columbine was 23 years, and what have we learned? What’s changed?

I feel for the parents and families of those lost. I feel for all who are hurting today. I feel for this nation. And I feel so, so, so sad.